hah. i'm not sure if its age, personality, character, morals or whatever. but there are really some ppl who i just cannot understand why they act the way they act. what? do they enjoy pimping themselves out or something. i find it extremely degrading. making yourself so fucking available. HAH. suddenly i feel so disgusted by it all. and as much as i had my interest piqued, and i do like being there. i'm suddenly abit turned off by it all. but still my love for my darling will make everything right eh (; my darling who rang me just as i thought of calling my darling. hahaha.

i can't do it. i really can't do it. i saw it with ____ in the past. and i lost to it. and now its happening all over again. well admittedly with a lot less finesse then e previous one. hahaha. i have respect for e previous one, but nothing much for e current one. urghs. i really wonder how ppl can put themselves on silver platters. cos no matter what, my pride refuses to let me to do it. i think i'll just stick with the one in my heart. the largest occupied room in my heart.

wanlin is in town. met up with her, had dimsum, walked covent garden, swept through topshop. hahaha oh how i've missed that adorable girl. its like we hardly talk online, we meet maybe 3-4 times a year. but we can talk like no time has passed. its terribly funny how the only friends i have from my jc class are 3 girls and 5 boys. smirks. oh but the talking was wonderful. so much spilling out, one after another, rushing to the surface. understanding and love. the best.

the simple luxuries in life. having cold jap milk tea in your fridge. or a bottle of yummy ginger & lemongrass tea. warm fluffy robe to slip into when you wake up in the morning. a cup of hot chinese tea freshly brewed in the afternoon. bacon in the morning. magazine subscriptions to your door. haha.

not worth it. until something happens to sweep my inhibitions away. definitely NOT worth it :p

: over and over :: rachael yamagata :